Before the Morning

Josh Wilson - Before The Morning (Official Music... by EMI_Music
 
I heard this song on the radio today.  It's not the first time I've heard it, as evidenced by the fact that I could sing along, knowing most of the words without having to give much thought.  But I think today was the first time I really heard this song.  It seemed to fit so clearly to how I'm feeling right now. 
 
Over the past month, three people have announced they're pregnant... 3!  And while I'm happy for them, I just can't fully understand why we've gone through this and when I will finally stop feeling down when I find out yet another person is expecting. 
 
Then to top it off, this last week was stressful trying to figure out if:
a) my hubby should quit his job to focus on school - leaving us without as much income or any insurance until who knows when.
b) he should continue in both of his classes and clinical hoping he passes, but having a hard time in one of them, thus risking failing (not really failing, but not passing because of test grades, thus technically failing) and having to apply to be re-admitting into the program
or
c) withdrawal from the class he's struggling with the most in hopes that he can both keep his job and pass the other class.
 
We went with option c.  But it still means that he has to re-apply for the program.  Hopefully they will see that with the circumstances he faced this semester (emotional time with the miscarriage) that it shouldn't happen again and thus he would be successful if they let him back in.
 
So between that stress, the frustration of not having a successful pregnancy while watching others in their pregnant bliss, money issues (always budget problems because we don't make enough to cover bills), school stress, work stress, etc.  this son just really spoke to me this afternoon. 
 
God is working all things according to his purpose.  We only see the small picture, but he sees the whole thing... he's putting together our puzzle.
 
The lyrics are:
 

Do you wonder why you have to

Feel the things that hurt you

If there's a God who loves you where is He now

Maybe there are things you can't see

And all those things are happening

To bring a better ending

Someday somehow you'll see you'll see

Would you dare would you dare to believe

That you still have a reason to sing

Cause the pain that you've been feeling

It can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on you gotta wait for the light

Press on and just fight the good fight

Cause the pain that you've been feeling

It's just the dark before the morning

My friend you know how this all ends

You know where you're going

You just don't know how you'll get there

So say a prayer

And hold on cause there's good for those who love God

But life is not a snapshot

It might take a little time but you'll see the bigger picture

Would you dare would you dare to believe

That you still have a reason to sing

Cause the pain that you've been feeling

It can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on you gotta wait for the light

Press on and just fight the good fight

Cause the pain that you've been feeling

It's just the dark before the morning

Once you feel the weight of glory

All your pain will fade to memory

Once you feel the weight of glory

All your pain will fade to memory, memory, memory

Would you dare would you dare to believe

That you still got a reason to sing

Cause the pain that you've been feeling

It can't compare to the joy that's coming

Would you dare would you dare to believe

That you still got a reason to sing

Cause the pain that you've been feeling

It can't compare to the joy that's coming

Come on you've gotta wait for the light

Press on and just fight the good fight

Cause the pain that you've been feeling

It's just the hurt before the healing

Oh the pain that you've been feeling

It's just the dark before the morning

Before the morning