Wednesday we found out another family is being pursued for the adoption of the three boys we were interested in. It was sort of surprising. I don't really know how to explain it, but for the last few weeks, although I've been excited about the prospect, when I would look at a picture of the boys, I sort of didn't feel that they were ours. I know they weren't yet, but originally when I saw them it was different than the last few weeks. It's hard to explain exactly what I saw, but it gave me a feeling that it might not happen, that they wouldn't be joining our family... even though nothing in the case pointed me that way. So when I found out on Wednesday that they officially wouldn't be it was sad, but kind of expected.
In some ways finding out felt like another miscarriage. Not nearly as long lasting or emotionally difficult, but still the feelings of planning, expectation, dreams, excitement, possibility and then loss of all those things. I know there are other children who need a home and I am happy that these three are being pursued by another family... I just wish I knew who our children would be.
I'm praying for a little girl to come our way for Christmas for my hubby. Even if she is only with us for a short time.
And in other news, I'm not pregnant. But it was fun to hope, dream and certainly fun to try :)
No comments:
Post a Comment